(“my fourteen year old self would be freaking out right now”.) it’s Thursday and I work later in the day, but this morning is special.. I get a call from the gate telling me that there’s someone here for me, someone I’ve known for a lifetime, someone that I just don’t seen anymore.. Sandee and I met when we were kids, I dated her best friend Olivia and we spent a lot of time together, we have a lot of stories, a lot of history, and a lot of unresolved feelings. Sandee and I were never an item but something was always alive within our relationship, she was 14 at the time, I was 16 and boy did we get into shit.. We both had a likeness towards one another, but it never manifested into anything and through the years we’ve just been bystanders in each other’s life.. other than getting breakfast at Denny’s once about two years ago, we haven’t seen or spoken since the glory of our younger days. She’s grown up quite well, Sandee has always been a cute girl, but now she’s a beautiful woman, and I desperately hope she knows that.. she’s emotional, vulnerable and most of all stunningly true, she shows you who she is when she lays down, when she opens her mouth…

Sandee had never done a photoshoot, and that’s usually my favorite because it signals that this is not merely a project, this is a real life moment caught through the lens of a shitty film camera, we got drunk on wine and did things we dreamed about when we were kids, we picked up where we left off all those years ago, but no matter what we respected our emotions. This was a different kind of shoot, my inspirational techniques were different, I wanted her to see what I saw and that’s that she grew up to be a beautiful woman, one who’s sexy as hell and one who deserves to be worshipped, treated well, someone who shouldn’t waste her time with a man who doesn’t appreciate her the way anyone should.. I know I’m not the most helpful, and i usually raise more questions than I care to answer but she deserves the world and it took me twelve years to see her for the majestic creature she is, I hope it takes her less to figure this out for herself.. this is tonight’s muse, and this is nostalgia; ultra. playing Frank Ocean as I stare at her tattooed body in proximity, craving everything she’s not giving me.. cheers to you, thanks for still being in my life.